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Questions to ask your mom on your next call
You live in another city or country, or she does, and the calls with mom and dad keep slipping. 📞 Here are 36 questions for the next one, from easy openers to the stories you’ve never heard. Tap Copy to keep one for the call, or send it to her as a text.
When you live far away, the weekly call is often the only chance to hear how she really is. The best question is about something she told you last time: the appointment, the trip, the neighbour. When there’s nothing to follow up, ask about her week, then about her life before you. Pick two or three below before you call, and write down what she says, so next week you know what to ask.
For the weekly call
Easy openers that get more than “fine, you?”. Ask one, then let her talk.
What was the best part of your week?
What made you laugh this week?
What are you looking forward to this month?
Who have you seen lately? How are they?
What are you cooking these days?
What’s keeping you busy at the moment?
Follow-ups on what she told you last time
The questions that show you listened. Swap the part in brackets for what she actually said.
How did the appointment go on [day]?
Did you hear back about [the thing you were waiting on]?
How is [her friend or neighbour] doing after [their news]?
Did you finish [the book or show] in the end? What did you think?
How’s [the garden, the class, the new job] going?
About her life before you
Most of us know our mom as a mom. These are about the person she was first.
What did you want to be when you were my age?
What was your first job, and what did you spend your first pay on?
Where were you living in your twenties, and what was it like?
What was a normal Saturday for you at 18?
Who was your best friend growing up? Are you still in touch?
What’s a decision you made young that you’re glad you made?
Family, food and the old house
Ask these with a pen ready. Recipes and family stories are easy to lose.
What did your mom cook that you still make?
Can you talk me through how you make [dish]? I want to write it down.
What do you remember about your grandparents?
What’s a family story you think I’ve never heard?
What was the house you grew up in like?
Light and funny
For a call that needs a laugh more than a catch-up.
What’s the worst haircut you ever had?
What did you get up to as a teenager that your parents never found out about?
What song takes you straight back to being young?
What’s a trend from when you were young that you’d bring back?
What did I do as a kid that drove you mad?
When you live far away
Questions that keep you close to her everyday life from another city or country.
What’s changed around home since I was last there?
What should we do together next time I’m home?
Is there anything you’d like me to bring when I visit?
What time of day is best for you to talk?
What’s one small thing I could send you that would make your week?
Bigger ones, for when there’s time
Not for a five-minute call. Save them for a long walk or a slow Sunday.
What are you proudest of?
What do you wish you’d done more of?
What advice would you give yourself at my age?
What’s something you’d like me to know about you?
How to keep the call from running dry
- Pick before you dial. Choose two or three questions while you wait for her to answer. It’s much harder to think of one mid-call.
- Start with last time. One follow-up on her news is worth five new questions. It tells her you were listening.
- Ask, then wait. Leave a pause after she answers. The best part of the story usually comes after it.
- Write it down after. A line or two: the date of her appointment, the friend who moved, the recipe. That is next week’s first question.
Most of these work for your dad too. For grandparents, save the family and old-house questions, and read the full guide on how to keep in touch with grandparents when you live far away. For how often to call, read how often should you call your parents. For remembering what people tell you, read how to remember what friends tell you.
Questions
What should I ask my mom on the phone?
Start with a follow-up on something she told you last time, like an appointment, a trip or a friend’s news. Then ask about her week: the best part, who she saw, what she’s cooking. Keep one bigger question, about her life before you, for when there’s time.
How do I keep a call with my mom from going quiet?
Pick two or three questions before you call, ask one at a time, and leave a pause after each answer. Open-ended questions (“what was the best part of your week?”) work better than yes-or-no ones (“did you have a good week?”).
Do these questions work for my dad or grandparents?
Yes. Almost all of them do. Change “your mom” to “your dad” or “your parents” where it comes up, and save the family and old-house questions for grandparents. They often have the most to tell. There is a longer guide on how to keep in touch with grandparents when you live far away.
How can I remember what she told me last time?
Write a line straight after the call, with a date if there is one. A note on your phone works. Ciao! keeps short notes on each person’s page, and a note with a reminder comes back on the day you pick.
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